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Voice Recognition Software Still Sucks (Examples inside!)

Back in the late 90s, early 2000s, I purchased some $50 voice recognition software. It was pretty good after spending several hours of training it to get used to my accent and the way I used words. In the end, however, I found I just typed faster than it understood my voice, and so it ended up being a pretty mediocre buy. I can’t say voice recognition software had really crossed my mind since then. Andrew, my ever-geeky significant other, however, recently decided to give Dragon NaturallySpeaking a try. He, too, had tried voice recognition software in the 90s, but his Australian/New Zealand accent had never been picked up well by it. NaturallySpeaking had a specific ability to understand this accent, supposedly, so he was interested. (I don’t know why, since he types just as well, if not better, than I do, but well, whatever.) And so, we found ourselves giving it a spin the other night.

At the beginning, Dragon NaturallySpeaking seems pretty smart and snazzy. It has a nice interface, and the training, which consists of your reading a story aloud to the program, seems to go quite smoothly. Then you get to try dictating a sentence to it. This is where all hell breaks loose, and NaturallySpeaking understands you as well as your half-deaf grandmother. Your grandmother, by the way, seems to understand American accents a bit better than Aussie ones. Maybe this is because we pronounce things properly, but I don’t know.

The results were so comical, that we decided to read one of my poems, Driftwood, to it. The stanzas that are very slightly more akin to the original are the ones I read, while the ones that make absolutely no sense at all were read by Andrew. I’ll let you compare the following with the original and let you be the judge of this amazing piece of software.

Unimproved student group would
waters flooded 10,000 times
until lost or sense of direction
my beast is now my rest

The rates for me
only from the water
and I know I am broken
accept me as I am

I will be good to your fisherman
me didn’t dry me off
might read into what I wish I was
I can be something beautiful

He placed it before your heart
the fire frightens me into silence
you warn me over in the
defense life and that adds

Icon always read your
are you will save me
I’m possibly Dowell prosecutes
with stories off my Bella

I say you were lonely fisherman
and I think this land is killing you
to take me to see in your father’s private
other anywhere with you

I will be the fishing rod
respond never breaks
the muffin chopping knife
but that fits your handler

You see me for what I am
flooded softened driftwood
but I’m a beautiful
because you love me as I am

So there you have it. It’s obviously the way I should have written that poem from the start. My favorite line is probably “my beast is now my rest.”

We can’t exactly recommend Dragon NaturallySpeaking. Unless you’re looking for some fun. And with that, I leave you with Andrew’s reading of some odd news, Nudist vows to hike on after jail time.

A naked German high cut has vowed to carry on rambling in the new despite spending 10 days in jail for breaking public nudity rules

Thomas Greenwich a spokesman for the British record in Anspach said street free grow arts went to Joe because he refused to pay a fine of €500 assessed for violating the public nudity part

Roh wants a judge tour work or German newspaper they plan to continue campaigning for the right to project and organized all natural hikes despite his troubles with little

Naked hygiene has gained a following since the German society or wondered us join the German sports Association

Your writing is accepted and allowed in pots of Germany especially undesignated beaches on the Baltic Sea towards a naked joggers have been falling in the pots for running for forests wearing nothing but socks and shoes

Reporting by Jersey corks

Comments ordered from oldest to newest.

Andrew Eastgate

Next time we have muffins, I’ll have to get my muffin chopping knife. Also, my last name is now Beastgate.

Elise

“Maybe this is because we pronounce things properly, but I don’t know.”

Yes, like aluminum and neukeula! Actually, could you try those words and see which way it better picks them up?

Michael

The hidden secret to the software is they must have some Indian being paid $1 a day in some call center that listens to a voice stream, tries to understand what you say, and types it back.

Thats where the natural in NaturallySpeaking comes from, organic product instead of artificial. ;)