LeliaThomas.Com

Dear Charity Telemarketer

Of all the telemarketers, thou art the most persistent. Considering it’s a “good cause,” I should find that admirable and amazing, but I don’t. Frankly, I just find it annoying. Allow me to elaborate.

When you call me at odd hours of the day–if you’re even calling me, half the time you’re calling Mrs. Bellamy, whoever she is–putting me on the spot to give to your charity, I’m not too keen. Here’s why. I don’t know the first thing about your charity. Instead of giving me the old standby script of “these kids really need your help,” or “did you know [insert percentage here] are affected by [insert problem here],” tell me how your charity actually helps these people. Perhaps even go really in depth and give me an idea of how many dollars go to “overhead,” versus how much goes to someone in need. I’m sure if that information got around, for at least a few of you, your charity would not get so many donations.

Why is it when I ask you for a website where I can acquire more information, you get upset? Every single one of you that I’ve spoken to! Just because I want to know more, and frankly don’t want to hear your pitying, whiny voice for one more second, does not mean I don’t care. Just because I don’t want to give RIGHT NOW, during YOUR TIME, does not mean I don’t want to give. It just means I don’t want to agree to anything that I don’t know about in full. On your end, everyone’s a potential dollar, a donation. On my end, not all charities are equal in their contributions to society, and I want to give where it will be most beneficial. If you have a problem with that, then, well, I have a problem with you.

Now let’s talk about raffle tickets. Some of you have not properly judged my level of assertiveness before calling. You think you can put a guilt trip on me about it all, but it doesn’t work. Ask the other half dozen charities that call me with this same notion; they’ll tell you I give the same answer, almost in the script form that you read off your needs. I’m sure half of you call up sugary sweet girls who, “oh yes,” would “love to sell raffle tickets on behalf of your charity,” but I am not one of them. Yes, believe it. And pulling the–as one of you actually did!–”most of these blind people are children” thing isn’t going to work on me.

Here’s why. I want to know why modern society has gotten into this raffle ticket thing. Since when is charity supposed to be about bribing, and what more is a raffle event than a bribe? “Sell these raffle tickets, and make sure to tell people there’s a prize trip worth $30,000!” Um, $30,000 might go a long way for your charity, I’m thinking. And if the money is not directly from your organization, but through sponsorship, why are you commercializing yourself for the sake of a dollar? Moreover, why would you work with a business that doesn’t want to give you the $30,000 directly, as a donation, but would rather use your non-profit organization as a way to benefit business through seemingly “socially conscious” advertising? Talk about bending over for business.

So, in conclusion, it’s not that I don’t care, but that I ask more questions. Apparently this is a problem, and since it is, I’ll bend over, and you can kiss something of my own. I’ll give you a dollar if you can guess what it is!

All my love,
Lelia

P.S. - I love the two of you who have hung up in my face when I said I didn’t want to give today, but would like more information by mail or online. That was really classy and showed your true nature. Thanks!

P.S. #2 - Oh, the hate mail I shall get for this. Let the games begin.

Comments ordered from oldest to newest.

brahnamin

actually ,the ones who refuse to give info/website and especially the ones willing to hang up in your face are almost assuredly scam artists.

as to the ones who just get frustrated when you ask for info/indicate that you want to give in your own way/own time, well, it’s probablly because (believe it or not) they are on a commission.

if they are actively helpful they are probablly both legit and not getting paid.