LeliaThomas.Com

Isn’t it ironic?

There are many songs that I like, but only a few that really describe something about my life or who I am as a person. And while I can’t say Alanis Morissette comes anywhere close to being a top favourite of mine in terms of singers, her song Ironic has always–fortunately and unfortunately, alike–described my life.

No one could have ever made me believe that all the moves my family made when I was little–all the moves that uprooted my life as I knew it–would come in handy, but they have. I learned to adapt quickly; I learned to pick my fights and let go of other things. I learned to be cautious of some, accepting of others. Ironically, what felt like suffering then prepared me for what I’ve done here.

I never would have believed that when I began saying, at the age of seven, that I wanted to go to school overseas, that it would actually happen, but it has. I think it goes to show that what’s in your heart from the beginning should be something you take very seriously.

I never would have believed that the place I’d go to would be Australia, or that the reason I would choose the country was because of someone, but that’s the truth of it. At a time, I never would have believed that the person I chose Australia for would end up backing out on me, but he did. At a time, I never would have believed that I would still come here, despite that, but I did. I did it somewhat blindly, but I had made a promise to myself–at a time–about coming here, and so I kept it. I didn’t know how that would go, but it has gone well in so many unexpected ways.

Nor would I have believed that, in coming to Australia, I’d make friends most easily with people from Norway–a nationality I’d never even met before coming here, ironically–but that has happened. But most of all, I never would have believed I’d slowly fall in love with a place, but it seems to be happening, even as I type this.

Melbourne is not perfect; it is flawed, like any other place, like any other person, but I find that it’s like a lover–you take it with its flaws, and without a second thought. Though for the life of me I can’t put my finger on it, there is something here that I never had in the States. On one hand, that makes me sad. It makes me feel like a misfit from the country I was born in, the country I still have feelings for in a number of ways, the country whose history I admire very much. Yet, on the other hand, it makes me happy–happy to have finally found a place that I get immense peace from, for whatever reason. As the days and weeks and months pass, I question whether I’ll ever want to return to America to live. I don’t have an answer for that now, but my doubt grows with time.

I do not feel American or Australian; those are just titles, though granted we all use them sometimes. I am merely me, living somewhere, where I happen to like it. After all that has occurred for this to happen, and after all that happened in my coming here to begin with, it is very ironic. It has actually taken me a while to accept the feelings that I might belong here more than I do back in the US.

Life is good. I am at peace. Things truly could not be going any better. It’s taken a while to get to this point, but it’s been worth it.

Comments ordered from oldest to newest.

Edrei

Home is always where the heart belongs. It’s good that you feel at peace. It’s good that you took it one day at a time, after all…that’s the only way we can truly take in what life throws at us…simply one day at a time. :)

Josh

I know what the states lack - Kangaroos! We need more funny hopping things to ease our minds!

/Yeah right there’s a lot more wrong with the states/ Correct me if I’m wrong, but Australia lacks school shootings, child-molesting priests, and rampant gang bangers. Funny how a country that was intended to be used as a prison ended up safer than a country founded with hard morals, values and virtues. Again with the irony. How is the night sky? Do you see a lot of stars in Melbourne?

SkeptiC

No matter where you are, thanks to the internet for keeping it all connected, somewhat.
Sounds like you are becoming very content and happy with your ‘newer’ home. But, I also think if you did come back, eventually you would feel that way for here as well. Just like you said, you adapt quickly. Regardless of how fast or slow you adapt, you do adapt. But they are also just titles like you said, (American or Austrailian). You’re a Lelian at heart. Wherever and whatever makes you happy is obviously where you should be.
You’ve done something alot of people probably think about, but never act on. Studying and even living in another country. For most, I think that is just a passing thought that is never acted on.

Lelia

Josh, while obviously from this entry alone, my heart’s lying elsewhere these days, I don’t know how you believe Australia lacks those things entirely. For every good there is a flaw, just like anywhere else, really, in that respect.

- Yes, there are fewer–hardly any–school shootings. This is wonderful, and in part due to gun banning. This doesn’t stop stabbings or beatings, though, does it? And cops don’t carry guns, either, so when real riots begin, guess how they get to stop them? With mace/pepper spray and billy sticks. Not much of a comfort if you’re in the middle of the turmoil, I’d imagine. Moreover, if you believe as I do, it’s a little disquieting to know that only criminals bent on committing a crime will likely be wielding a gun.

- Child molestations are, unfortunately, alive and well here, just as they are all over the world. Anglicans and Catholics make up the bulk of religious groups in Australia, so there are plenty of kids hanging out with priests if their families are religious. The court systems here have been known to give short sentences to these criminals, as in other places, too, I’m afraid.

- There seems to be a lot of question as to whether there are organized gang groups within Australia, especially among youths, but I say the graffiti pretty much answers that question. There is graffiti that is artistic and/or political, and then there is graffiti that is obviously just a mark of someone or some group’s territory–there’s plenty of that here.

Things are not perfect here, as I said in this entry. Just because of your dislike for the States (which is probably well-rooted in many cases), don’t believe all other places are better and without trouble, because that’s not true, and just because I’m loving it here doesn’t mean you or someone else would. There are only different kinds of problems, and the only reason (I believe) there are fewer here is because of a smaller national population of about 20 million, vs. the States’ 300 million.

As for the night sky–lot fewer, visible stars in the southern hemisphere, but that also makes the moon brighter/look bigger, at least to me. :)

Josh

Well I don’t believe Australia, or any country other than the States, is perfect. But you’re right it has all the problems, just not as bad as here. And it’s probably just due to their smaller population, like you said.

I’ve been to one country outside of the US, but only for two months. Still it was long enough to sense a difference. There seemed to be alot of things that were a lot worse than here (like homeless people and drunks), and some things that were much much better (like food and architecture).

As far as the gun ban, I really didn’t know guns were banned out there. I’m not against guns, it makes sense for protection for people who can’t defend themselves - especially old ladies and the such.

Either way - you’re one lucky girl!

kav p

heehee, finally added your site to rss. i’m such a slack bastard.

i’m really glad that your heart has been settling into a place where you will be living for at least the next three years. i suppose it’s better that than not!

who knows, maybe you’ll find more here than you were looking for.

haha, despite all my petty qualms with oz, as you can see above i still have the sentiment to refer to it as ‘here’ even though i’m anywhere BUT oz at the moment. X3